First of all, if anyone compliments on your good looks, good for you!!! That means you are taking care of yourself and it shows!
I agree with may- I don’t think WASs are always calculating like that. Personally. I think phrases like “leaving breadcrumbs” and “cake eating” give too much emphasis on what you presume the WAS is thinking.
Granted, WAH/WH is a special label that might be confusing to you as to how to respond, but maybe try to think about what else do you see him as? A friend? Family? Stranger? Alien?
I'd have to agree breadcrumbing is one that I struggle with believing that WS are all taking the time to lay that out all the time. Especially when most of them are working with the assumption that we're going to be BFFs if they leave us, why would they need to string us a long when in the fantasy the door is always open, because, you know, we're best friends who hang out and talk all the time. *sigh*
As far as what do I see my H as right now. My immediate reaction when posed that question is probably a$$hat. But that's not super productive. Well not friend. I might be in his head. But he's not mine. So that's out. He's increasingly less and less alien every week, and I can't say stranger really either. Even in full swing alien mode he voluntarily went to see if my mother's headstone was finally put in. I'd say I still see him as family. Family you love without necessarily liking all the time. Family you let into your inner-self with varying degrees based on the climate of your relationship at that time. Family because we are still running a household together. Outside of family I couldn't possibly name what else I see him as. We have zero emotional or physical intimacy and he's dating some one who isn't his wife, but save for that, everything else about our lives under one roof together is almost better than it has ever been. We talk more openly about finances than ever. Our workload balance at home is more balanced than ever. He does things the second I ask him to instead of ignoring me or doing it on his own schedule like he's one of the kids. In the last couple of weeks he started to spend time with the girls like he was before this mess. He took care of dinner 4 times last week. He hasn't done that since I was away taking care of my mom. He's being incredibly supportive of me running again, neutral topic for both of us I guess, but normally he behaves as if I quit everything I start, (which isn't my actual MO). I have no idea how to label that. What title fits the person who used to be my best friend and lover, who is now my good looking roommate who bangs some chick I don't know, but is becoming a better husband in all the other aspects of our relationship that I wish he had done prior?
I think being unable to find an appropriate column to put him in is what made me a little uncomfortable with his comments.
