Whoops, just realized that this weekend we have a bunch of events lined up that both W and I need to attend to. How am I going to NC my way through this
(1) W's Cousin's Wedding - a four day event (2) A mutual friend's bridal shower - I am hosting the activities so I kinda have to be there
Planning to skip the wedding entirely. W will be upset, because that would mean she would have to come up with an excuse to make M looks as if it's functioning normally to non-suspecting family members. Not my problem though, she can handle that. I know my parents-in-laws will be disappointed if I don't go. It breaks my heart to disappoint them, since they have been kind and supportive, but this is what I have to do.
I guess I'll go to the Bridal Shower, out of necessity. They need me there to run the event. Also, they are my friends too. I do not want to give up spending time with them just because W will be there. W will probably request that we go together (one car) to make it not look conspicuous to friends. I'll leave that to her choice.
She will probably text me what my plans are for these events, I'll just say:
"I would love to go, but given our current situation, it's best that I don't. But I will go to the bridal shower because they'll need my help"
Thoughts?
Funbun...The wedding may be a tough one - to me these are moments that you can't replace. I was going to be faced with this too as my BIL is getting married in May. Now, my situation has improved but I was planning on attending the wedding but leaving shortly after dinner. Arriving and leaving on my own. The fact that yours is a 4 day event is tricky but I think you are correct in not attending. It's simple, she doesn't want you in her life and this is her family.
As for your text reply, I think you are trying to make her realize what this is causing and I think your replies should be short and to the point.
W: Why aren't you coming to the wedding? Funbun: I've decided not to, it's your family and you should enjoy the time with them" W: You're putting me in a bad position, what will I tell people? Funbun: I understand it may be tough but you've asked for space and I respect that - I also need time. You go and have a nice time.
As for the shower:
W: Will you be at the shower? Funbun: Of course, I'm helping to run it.
Leave it at that...You don't have to ask her if she'll be there or press for any details. Show her that you are ok with what you've chosen and you aren't trying to make her feel bad. Let her live with her feelings and choices. I think the last thing you want to do is be vindictive (or appearing vindictive in her mind).
H 37 W 31 S 2
T: 7 M: 4
BD 12/18 Separated 2/19 Living back together 04/06/2019 W Moved out again 07/15/2019
