Just read your story, and it seems like a carbon copy of my own. NGS is an absolute killer, and like you, I didn't recognize it until it was too late. What's doubly frustrating (and I suspect this is the case with you as well) is that it's the same story in EVERY serious relationship I've been in.
If you haven't read "No More Mr. Nice Guy" by Robert Glover, I strongly, strongly recommend it. It sounds like you already have a good understanding of how this is impacting your relationships, but I've found the book also helps quite a bit in terms of addressing it and moving forward.
