this critical illness adds another dimension that exceeds a lay person's advice on a marriage forum. I think you need to get whatever professional help is available to guide you and your family through this extraordinary pathway.
I agree with Sandi. You lead your family through this. Enjoy life each day, Get things in order at the same time.
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"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712