So the ex the says you are going to split them up? I said I am not splitting them up, d doesn’t want to come and if s does that should be ok. She said I don’t think it’s a good idea to split them up. I said can you explain why it isn’t a good idea? She just said I don’t think it is.
Notice XW doesn't give you a valid reason? Take Unichen's tip and next time XW wants to discuss kids. Like Uni said. You don't owe an explanation, no more than XW owes you one. Pull XW aside to discuss kids every time when necessary. Discussions regarding kids shouldn't happen in front of kids. Don't want to fill kids heads up with complexes. Be consistent with that. You are putting your foot down, but being mature and responsible about it. Do not discuss kids with XW in front of them as if they are a third party to the matter.
Originally Posted by Wolfman
So since she doesn’t want to come she is staying with you. And since s is ok with it he will be coming with me.
Good. Assertive and right to the point. Nice to see a "This is what's going to happen based on available options, and children's choices." scenario. You are right D is old enough to make that decision. D chose. S chose. Options were given. This is the outcome. Its your XW weekend anyway. You are doing XW and S the favor by spending time with S. D was invited and included, but she chose otherwise. Logically and technically speaking, XW load is being lightened in a sense.
Originally Posted by Wolfman
She then said d shouldn’t have a say on where she goes. Right in front of her. I said look she is old enough to make that decision.
Yeah this is exactly where you pull XW aside to discuss this not in front of the children. If D is of appropriate age and maturity to be making that descision based on her maturity level. XW should not be making those statements especially in front of the kids. If D isn't of appropriate age and maturity. Still should be discussed on the side.
Originally Posted by Wolfman
She is pushing my d on me because she is looking for this opportunity to go out and party. Granted she is entitled to do that but don’t force my d on me when this is actually her day with the kids and d is old enough to say she would rather not go.
Yeah it could be because she wants to party and taking only 1 of 2 kids could bottle neck in last minute plans for her. All of a sudden XW cares about giving kids equal parental attention and time when it suits and benefits her? Don't allow that type of manipulation from her. Let her schedule her recreational activities on her own time off from the kids unless you have both kids. But then again her social affairs are none of your business anymore. Even though she's not saying her agenda to you. XW can hire a babysitter if D staying with her interferes with her plans. But again. You can't control XW. Just you. You know as well as I know Wolf, that they will take every advantage to dump the kids off on you when it suits their social agenda on their time with the kids. Another form of cake eating. But that door swings both ways too. There may be moments where you want to do something without the kids or a event or vacation or something where you might have to ask or request XW to watch kids for a date swap. So there has to be give and take and some concessions made over time with this. Me personally. Unless its really important or critically necessary, I schedule all my GAL on my own time.
Originally Posted by Wolfman
She said well I have to pick them BOTH up at 9 they have school tomorrow. Again insisting d was coming with me. I just said we can talk about this later.
It couldn't hurt to make a compromise and leave D with XW, pickup S and volunteer to run S back to XW's house after the SuperBowl party to save XW some trouble.
