1. I know the conversation should never have happened in front of the kids. I am starting to see she loves to do this in front of the kids. I’m really going to have to start really putting my foot down when she starts to do this.
"I'm happy to discuss with you at another time, not in front of the kids."
No need to explain why. Just be calm and consistent, no need to put your foot down. She'll eventually get the point. Do it every time.
Originally Posted by wolfman
2. She is pushing my d on me because she is looking for this opportunity to go out and party. Granted she is entitled to do that but don’t force my d on me when this is actually her day with the kids and d is old enough to say she would rather not go.
Can't control her.
Originally Posted by wolfman
3. I can only imagine what she has said to my s that he would be so hesitant to watch football with his dad, even if it is at a friends house.
I would leave it alone. If S wants to tell you something, he will.
Originally Posted by wolfman
4. If tomorrow she forces my d on me how do I handle it?
Are you happy to take D to the party?
If so, then take her. Do what D wants to do. Support her (D's) decision. Don't make a big deal out of it in front of D, no need to raise her anxiety and have her feeling stuck in the middle.
Regarding "splitting them up," I think it's great to split the kids up and get some 1:1 time with them. I bet it's hard to find those opportunities. Seems like a positive thing to me!
I'd stay out of arguing over any logical inconsistencies (about the sleepovers, etc.). That's going to lead nowhere productive. She wants you to engage in the battle.
I've been reading some books lately about co-parenting. There is really good stuff out there about how to handle situations where you aren't getting along with the other parent, but you still want to do the best for your kids even if the other parent is not aligned with you.
