Midlife wife crisis13

[Wolfman]

Wow that was some good responses. I guess I am too focused on her. I just at times want you to know what I am dealing with. Had a little conversation today with ex about kids. I had asked her a week ago if I could have the kids on super bowl Sunday. It’s her day with the kids but I know she doesn’t care about the game but I would like to watch it with my son. My d doesn’t care either but I asked for both because I did t want my d to feel left out. She said point blank she did not want to go, that was fine with me. It’s not even my day with them. So last Sunday I took my s to the movies (d didn’t want to go) when I went to pick him up she asked if she could speak to me about the super bowl about the kids with the kids. She asked if I could come in for just a few minutes. When I went in my ex and s were there. Ex said to s, tell daddy. He did t say anything. She then said he doesn’t want to go and he doesn’t want to upset you by not going. I said s if you don’t want to go that’s fine daddy won’t be upset. He said, I just want to watch the game with you and no one else (going to friends super bowl party) I told him I would sit with him on the couch and watch the whole game with him. I said though it’s up to him and I won’t be mad if he doesn’t want to go. Of course she asked who is going to be there. Which honestly is none of her business. I k ow she was trying to see if GF was going to be there. I told her whose house it was and what friends were going to be there. I said it was up to him and there was no pressure and I won’t be mad if he doesn’t feel comfortable going. We said we will discuss it more later in the week. Fast forward to today. I go to pick up the kids at her house. I step out of my car to give them a hug as they are about to come over to me. Ex steps out of the house and said they don’t really want to go with you. I said they? I said I know my d wasn’t coming she already said she didn’t want to go. So I asked my s if he wanted to come and reassuring him it was ok if he didn’t . He said I just want to watch the game with you and no one else. I told him it was only going to be a few people and I would sit right next to him the entire game. So the ex the says you are going to split them up? I said I am not splitting them up, d doesn’t want to come and if s does that should be ok. She said I don’t think it’s a good idea to split them up. I said can you explain why it isn’t a good idea? She just said I don’t think it is. I said if d doesn’t want to come then she is staying with you and if s wants to come with me he can come with me I don’t see a problem with that. She then said d shouldn’t have a say on where she goes. Right in front of her. I said look she is old enough to make that decision. So since she doesn’t want to come she is staying with you. And since s is ok with it he will be coming with me. (Side note how would it be any different when one sibling goes to a friends house, or when one of my kids has slept over a friends house and the other stayed home) She said well I have to pick them BOTH up at 9 they have school tomorrow. Again insisting d was coming with me. I just said we can talk about this later. When we got in the car I asked d do you want to come, I would like for her to come. She said she doesn’t like football and would rather stay home. I said that is fine. I asked my s if he wanted to come and that I would not be upset which ever he chooses. He said, will I be able to watch it with you? I said absolutely I won’t leave your side. He said ok dad I’ll go. Couple of things
1. I know the conversation should never have happened in front of the kids. I am starting to see she loves to do this in front of the kids. I’m really going to have to start really putting my foot down when she starts to do this.
2. She is pushing my d on me because she is looking for this opportunity to go out and party. Granted she is entitled to do that but don’t force my d on me when this is actually her day with the kids and d is old enough to say she would rather not go.
3. I can only imagine what she has said to my s that he would be so hesitant to watch football with his dad, even if it is at a friends house.
4. If tomorrow she forces my d on me how do I handle it?
I was thinking of telling ex, look she does not want to come and that is perfectly ok with me and that she should not be forcing her on me on her day with the kids. And that I appreciate that she is allowing my s to come with me on her day with the kids. Ex is going to try and say that, that is wrong we split them up. I would then say do they not go to friends homes and sleep over? How and why is that ok? Does this make sense? Anything else I should say or do?