A real appraisal is important if this goes to a trail. It’s importance in negations - depends.
My house, our house back then, needed a value for the separation agreement. We could pay someone to appraise its value, get a few done, etc... etc... W, at the time, was in a rush, and wanted to sign over the house anyhow. So we agreed to a value. This amount is far less than an appraised value, but it mattered little. It just had to be documented what she was signing away.
The idea of finding a fair agreement is difficult, and yet straight forward enough. The courts and lawyers do not ensure a fair split. They uphold the wishes of the two applicants, you and H. If you two can find what you both believe to be a fair agreement and will sign it, then it is fair.
When that doesn’t happen, or cannot happen, the courts and lawyers apply the rule of law to the situation. The law then decides and enforces a “fair” agreement.
Originally Posted by Gerda
what I learned from this number is that H is totally delusional about the money he will make on a sale, and that there is literally no point in trying to negotiate with him.
You made an offer, and he counter offered. If he really wanted a trial why counter offer? He is just haggling over money right now. Imagine if you took his offer, is this all over? Would you get the house, business, etc.. and he gets his bag of money?
Originally Posted by Gerda
what to do, what gamble to take as far as trial or the current terrible agreement, letting my motion be heard, or working out the current agreement even though it's not very good.
Do both.
Continue to negotiate and prepare for a trial.
H is talking, so he is negotiable - crazy but is negotiating.
You offered 30% over the appraised value which is already inflated by the 700 extra square feet. So I am guessing if he had accepted that you would be ok with it. In other words the higher appraised value, for the moment, is not a troublesome point for you.
His return offer of 44% higher, is only 14% more - I suspect you would have taken that. It’s the 75% of the equity... which I honestly don’t understand what he is getting at there. I figure it’s not a good thing. If you want to enlighten me, I would appreciate it, but don’t feel you need to.
So what to do. Send another offer. Remove all those fees. Firstly you’re not planning to sell, so those expenses won’t be incurred. Secondly, they muddy it up for H. He is having trouble with one number. (Remember all those spreadsheet he just didn’t understand?) Keep it simple, and present it in a way that lets him think it is his idea.
And while doing this, keep pushing for a proper appraisal. Now, it does sound like the business is not appraised, so consider your strategy carefully.
Again, I’m not sure what the 75% thing is actually referring too, but you sound like you don’t want it. You could validate his 44% higher value and apply you percentage to that and offer him basically 14% more. The key is to figure out what the other party really wants. My XW just wanted out, pretty easy. Your H seems to just want money, not the actual house or business.
Maybe something along the lines of - I can agree to your stated value of the properties. With that, my initial offer would increase to $xxx. I would forego reassessment of the properties contingent upon acceptance of this agreement.
And of course you need all legalese wording and statements regarding all rights to alimony is waive and the lump sum payment is including H’s income upfront.
An interesting exercise is to reverse things. Imagine taking his deal, but you take his part and he takes your’s. You get all that money and 75%... and he gets the house. Would you take that? Is the deal really far off the mark? If you immediately jump upon such an theoretical solution, his offer is probably way out to lunch. My XW’s offer. No way I would take her side of it.
Such a mental exercise quickly highlights the fairness of things, and unfairness of things. In my case it was overwhelmingly in my favour, something I did feel guilty for and had to find forgiveness too. But that’s another story.
I believe negotiating yields the best results. Everyone has different desires and wants. Perhaps you can leverage that, offering some of your lesser priority items and find a middle ground.
Just food for thought.
Listen to your lawyer, he does sound rather good. I like him, from what you’ve said.
Hoping Saturday finds you well.
DnJ
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
