wow the saddest thing about reading your comments is that almost all the things written in this board are or come to be very true. Yes I looked back at myself and thought how sad it is I got excited about her replying to my message. I do not think about plan B and those things is just that always when she seems polite I remember all the advice on this board about not jumping back when she shows interest or becomes softer so I had to lift off the throttle and get back to LRT and working on me.
It is being a terrible weekend, as you say, look at me she just replies a TM to say I cant and I get all excited. how sad. In about 3 weeks I have the moving with my company, they will come pick everything up and then I have 5 extra holidays to set up myself here.
The children are both sick this weekend, again, hahaha I am like a nurse when I am here in Spain. But we are having fun. I can tell they miss me and love having time with me and that always recharges my batteries.
I have made a list of fears I have that are preventing me from fully moving on:
> I fear never having my family back > I fear having someone else raising my children > I fear that my W is never able to let go and forgive what happened these years > I fear losing contact with the lives of my children > I fear never being able to bring attraction and her feelings back
I know is good to be aware of these but also I need to figuratively take them on my hands and drop them on the floor to be able to fully move on with confidence. Am I supposed to behave as if I could not care less about her? Even when she told me I was the problem and I had to change? I appreciate all your help guys, I will take your words and try to keep them alive in my head. You have made 2 great points, our R is unique and we cannot compare and I am making a huge mistake by reading where there is nothing to be read. Thanks a lot to all of you. Please keep posting, as I always say, you are the only ones who can understand the marathon I am going through.
hugs, Paco
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Me 29 W:29 M: 5yrs T:10yrs S:6 yrs S:1 yr BD: "I want a D" 08/09/19 Sep: 10/27/19
