Also, your body f***ing MADE A HUMAN BEING. Those changes are reminders that your body is a miracle machine. You should love it and he should worship it.
Honestly? I feel like it doesn't matter if you say thanks, you don't, you shut him down, you smile and accept the compliment. You aren't doing this for him. You're a golden goddess for you. And as long as that attitude is shining through (which I think it is, with you) then I wouldn't worry about how to respond. Whatever feels right in the moment.
Maybe I'm a crap DB-er... Well, I mean I *know* I'm a crap DB-er but I have kind of stopped doing or saying anything with an eye towards his response. Early on, I did a lot of the DR recommended setting goals, monitoring response, carefully making sure I wasn't going down cheeseless tunnels, etc... and I think that while there was a lot of benefit to that in terms of our interactions with each other, it still put all the emphasis on him. Now that we're in this weird limbo place where I know about his A and he just needs to gather up his courage to walk (or not), I feel so much freer to just say what I'm thinking, be honest and open, be OK with letting myself be vulnerable in R talks. Because, what is the worst that can happen? It already basically has. If it drives him away more quickly, yay! Then I get to start the work of moving on.
I also just don't think that these WSs are so calculated in their every move. Some probably are narcissistic sociopaths and are carefully parsing out breadcrumbs calculated to keep you in the perfect spot. Others? Are confused messes right now and honestly don't know what they want. He could be breadcrumbing you to keep you as a firm plan B and make sure you're still in the game since he's sensing your distance. Or, he could be feeling a little pull and freak of yikes! I'm not ready for this and dang she is looking pretty hot these days, and that is why he said it. Or he genuinely knows what a difficult subject it is for you, and the compliment was intended to make you feel good. But all of that means you're parsing out WHAT he means and WHY he said it and HOW your response will or will not affect him. You are the best ever at not really caring about his BS... don't let this one area where you have some hang-ups get you down.
And work it, girl. For real.
Me (46) H (42) M:14 T:18, D9 & D11 4/19 - 12/19: series of escalating BDs 9/20 - present: R and piecing
but I have kind of stopped doing or saying anything with an eye towards his response. Early on, I did a lot of the DR recommended setting goals, monitoring response, carefully making sure I wasn't going down cheeseless tunnels, etc... and I think that while there was a lot of benefit to that in terms of our interactions with each other, it still put all the emphasis on him. Now that we're in this weird limbo place where I know about his A and he just needs to gather up his courage to walk (or not), I feel so much freer to just say what I'm thinking, be honest and open, be OK with letting myself be vulnerable in R talks. Because, what is the worst that can happen? It already basically has. If it drives him away more quickly, yay! Then I get to start the work of moving on.
