Nice job telling him you can’t. And definitely NO telling him you are home cleaning!!! That makes him feel nice and safe.
I bet he reaches out to you a few times tonight just to see if you respond and if you tell him what you are up to. I think saying it’s too bad you have fun plans tonight is his way of fishing for a clue as to your plans tonight. I would not text/answer him tonight.
It may seem like playing games. In actuality, I think you are teaching him how you are to be treated. And the message is: he needs to do a better job of getting on your calendar.
Don’t text him back tonight. Text him tomorrow and make no mention of tonight. You snooze, you lose.
Me 41, H 47, M 15 yrs, S11, S13 BD 1: 11/4/14 we work on it; really I pretzel myself BD 2: 3/31/15 H goes down to "dorm room" 8/15: H back to MBR 10/15: H back in dorm room 1/18: H files, now divorced
Who cares what your plans are tonight? Just because you planned to stay home and clean and now you have told him you can't go out because you have plans doesn't mean he needs to know what those plans are. Let him wonder. I just wouldn't mention it and be vague about it if he asks. G, maybe it is just me and I'm reading more into things, but a few posts back you seemed to be kind of putting yourself down because you turned him down because your plans tonight are "only cleaning your house". Again, who cares what your plans are. He waited til the last minute, so his loss. And, as HaWho pointed out, if you tell him now you stayed home to clean house, he is going to take that as he is safe. Let his mind wander to where you could be or what you could be doing and who you could be doing it with. None of his business anyway. It is perfectly fine to stay home and clean house or sit in your pjs and watch tv or whatever else you want to do...…..you are a grown woman and you don't need anyone's permission to have whatever plans you want. Go out and have fun or stay home and veg and don't give it a second's thought.
Several others have already said and I agree, if he does reach out to you tonight, do NOT respond. Wait until tomorrow to respond. He's fishing. From now until tomorrow morning, dude doesn't exist. And, don't be tempted to just read the texts either and think you'll respond to them later, because then it will be harder to resist the temptation to respond. Hang tough and let him chase.
Me 52, H53 Bomb drop 9/29/2014 Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014 Marriage #2 12/31/2019 5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships) 6 grandkids
I agree with turning him down.. kind of whack that he’d wait until last minute for a second date, f that.. later on, last minute plans are sometimes the best, but in the start, he needs to show some effort..
On a side note, job must be out enjoying life cause you are way over 100 posts.. lol
