Nice job telling him you can’t. And definitely NO telling him you are home cleaning!!! That makes him feel nice and safe.

I bet he reaches out to you a few times tonight just to see if you respond and if you tell him what you are up to. I think saying it’s too bad you have fun plans tonight is his way of fishing for a clue as to your plans tonight.
I would not text/answer him tonight.

It may seem like playing games. In actuality, I think you are teaching him how you are to be treated. And the message is: he needs to do a better job of getting on your calendar.

Don’t text him back tonight. Text him tomorrow and make no mention of tonight. You snooze, you lose.

Me 41, H 47, M 15 yrs, S11, S13
BD 1: 11/4/14 we work on it; really I pretzel myself
BD 2: 3/31/15 H goes down to "dorm room"
8/15: H back to MBR
10/15: H back in dorm room
1/18: H files, now divorced