I completely get you. It still hits me too. The loneliness. The emptiness. Like you I am a big fan of meditation. Live in the present, right?. But, sometimes, just sometimes, I miss making plans. My H and I had so many plans. Then I push the thought to the side, and try and come back to the present. But it creeps back.
The choice as to whether it's a major turning point (or not) is yours. You can continue as you are or you can choose to let go. If you do your co-parenting relationship will take a hit, but it will equalise once again in time.
I also miss those plans we had. It is hard to let go.
Meditation does help live in the present, but my enthusiasm for meditation centers around the fact that it is so frustrating and maddening and yet... it leaves space for just that. I really enjoy the guided meditations and how they help develop self-compassion. Sometimes sitting and meditating is the last thing I want to do. It can be so NOT calming. Yesterday's meditation theme was "I don't want to be meditating right now." It was fantastic. It was 14 minutes of squirming around hating it, and 1 minute of really enjoying a moment of tranquility.
Originally Posted by IronWill
Do you think you will ever become fully detached? I think this is something we all focus on, and strive to, but - especially if you have kids together - it will always be there in the background.
I think about this alot. It is a goal that I have in mind that I know is not fully achievable, but still a goal worth striving towards.
On the anxiety ~ co-dependency is a tricky subject with a lot of gray area too. Even the healthiest relationships involve helping each other out. Sometimes I think of my issues and try to differentiate between having a shoulder to lean on or using a crutch. Either way, that shoulder/crutch is gone now.
I am quite mind-f*cked by the entire last year plus. I know I have issues, but so does everybody else. My W has pathologized and dissected and categorized me. She works in the mental health field. I don't want to exaggerate it, but I do think it's THAT specific aspect of our situation that has traumatized me. It's going to take me time to disconnect from it.
Originally Posted by IHCLACS
Ever notice all throughout most of our lives and experiences, the greatest ones are when we are in the moment, out of our own heads, and in someone else's? Or out of our heads, and in an experience with someone or something else? Or enjoying the present and planning for the future, and when those planned future events come to pass, having gratitude and doing it again.
Absolutely. It's all about seeking and creating more of those opportunities.
