I find it fascinating that G wants to kick the coach in the nutz but he teaches men to be and act exactly how she wants a man to act.
I agree with J you do have a couple choices available.
I think I'm missing something. I'm not trying to be argumentative, but it seems like the coach, at least according to my understanding of all the many discussions about him on other threads, is teaching men to act exactly like this guy is acting now (not reaching out much, not texting a lot, not using the phone, etc.), but I don't get the sense that is exactly how G wants him to act. Clearly, if it were, she would be much more interested in him. Again, maybe I'm missing something, but I'm getting the distinct impression that G wants MORE communication and an actual date invitation, not just random texts here and there and nothing else, because this is leaving her feeling like he is disinterested which is killing her interest. It is very possible that I misunderstood and the coach was urging men to be more communicative, but it just seemed like (again MY understanding of what I was reading) the coach was urging me to have minimal communication and kind of cut to the chase.
Again, not trying to argue LH....maybe just different perspectives? Not even sure. I know a lot of people advocate not having a ton of communication prior to setting a date and they also advocate setting a first meet fairly quickly so, presumably, they can gauge actual interest. I don't know what the right answer or magic bullet is or whatever, but this guy not reaching out much just seems to be frustrating to G, at least from what I'm reading. Again, maybe I'm missing something and I'm just plain wrong. It has happened before. LOL
Me 52, H53 Bomb drop 9/29/2014 Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014 Marriage #2 12/31/2019 5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships) 6 grandkids
His direction is that phones are for setting dates and not meant for chit chatting. When he texts G he just needs to ask her out vs sending these meaningless messages that dont really go any where and is obviously turning G off.
No he would absolutely be 100% against what the teach is doing. He would want to the teach to be direct and set the date. He doesn’t like unnecessary communication early on because guy’s typically say stiff to turn a girl off. Plus if your texting all the time there is nothing to talk about on the date.
I know you don’t agree but most of his teachings are dead on. When the girl I’m seeing wants to connect with me she reaches out. I’m up first so I send the first text and that’s usually it for me. I’ll send one out of the blue once in awhile. But she initiates 80% of the time.
For the most part he’s dead on. Not always though.
His direction is that phones are for setting dates and not meant for chit chatting. When he texts G he just needs to ask her out vs sending these meaningless messages that dont really go any where and is obviously turning G off.
Yeah, that was my point so I'm glad you confirmed it. Granted, I didn't read his whole book, but I did read some of it when all of that discussion was ensuing and I thought I remembered him (the coach) advocating and a lot of you standing by the assertion that the phone (calling and texting) was basically a tool for setting dates and maybe just very occasionally talking with a purpose (my words, not the coach's). It struck me then and it strikes me now in G's situation that some women prefer more idle chit chat and are ok with more texting, but still want texting with a purpose (i.e. getting to know each other and asking for dates). I can see why G is turned off by the randomness and the limited texting and not being asked out again when the guy is saying that he enjoyed it. I don't think this guy is necessarily following the coach's advice, because I don't think his texts have much purpose, but the minimal communication does seem to be something coach advocates so that is why I said I felt like I was missing something after reading LH's response.
I do agree with both you of you, J9 and LH, that G has a couple of options here. Fish or cut bait comes to mind. LOL
Me 52, H53 Bomb drop 9/29/2014 Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014 Marriage #2 12/31/2019 5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships) 6 grandkids
If they already had their next date planned some texting would be ok as it helps continue the momentum from the last time they saw each other but this dude isn't even doing that.
