IW ~ I'm also working through the co-dependent tendencies. Part of what has made this so hard is not losing my W specifically, but losing a person I could always turn to for support and sharing. Like you, I also enjoy my alone time, but feel like I should be working harder to be a bit more social. When I have opportunities I jump at them, but I have not put a huge effort into seeking opportunities.
Yes, same here. With time I have begun to realize that I did rely on W for some emotional stability, but not to the degree that should have broken up the R. I tried to be there too for her throughout the 21 yrs of the R, but she would withdraw and deflect from dealing with her emotional issues in the present or past, so there wasn't much of a give and take there. I think you may see it too, eventually.
My PTSD gives me social anxiety (the gift that keeps on giving - yay!) that can come on out of nowhere. I feel it flood inward and I start sweating, panicking internally and looking for the nearest exit.
Thankfully I have learned to combat this internally while almost completely keeping a normal appearing exterior, so almost no one knows I have this. My nature is to isolate and bottle up when I feel it coming on. However it is a very unhealthy way to deal with things and I am learning how to better process it now.
This week I feel like crap but I'm forcing myself to get out there anyway. I'm keeping it to short interactions with people I know rather well, it helps to calm the anxiety somewhat and relief from my headspace for a little while
Originally Posted by unchien
I know I'm still emotionally attached to a degree. That's okay. I acknowledge it.
Do you think you will ever become fully detached? I think this is something we all focus on, and strive to, but - especially if you have kids together - it will always be there in the background.
