I completely get you. It still hits me too. The loneliness. The emptiness. Like you I am a big fan of meditation. Live in the present, right?. But, sometimes, just sometimes, I miss making plans. My H and I had so many plans. Then I push the thought to the side, and try and come back to the present. But it creeps back.
The choice as to whether it's a major turning point (or not) is yours. You can continue as you are or you can choose to let go. If you do your co-parenting relationship will take a hit, but it will equalise once again in time.
