Our divorce devastated me. At first it felt like I was tossed out of an airplane at 50,000 feet without a parachute. That later morphed into feeling like the place that housed my heart is a vacant lot, devoid of life, just a barren wasteland. Of course, there's a lot of concurrent loss that I've had to process in the past 5 years - loss of the marital home, a move away from my support group, my dad passing away, my son being in crisis and my mom's declining health. Kml's story is similar to mine, except I have no clue what exh's life is like now. He moved 3000 miles away. The relationship he has with our son is distant at best - exh tries, but his narcissistic tendencies have really driven a wedge between them.
There have also been unexpected bonuses - new friends, stronger bonds with old friends, a strong bond with my son, being able to be there for my parents without having to take a partner's opinion into consideration, a new home, stronger bonds with extended family. I'm blessed in many, many ways.
Would I have preferred to stay married to my exh? Yes, but only if he worked on his issues and was once again the loving and kind man I married.
I'm sorry your wife wasn't supportive of your diagnosis. That is mind boggling to me. You certainly deserve better treatment than that.
As far as dating goes, I can count on one hand the number of dates I've had, by choice. I honestly don't know where I stand with regard to future relationships.
M 20+ T25+ S ~15.5 (BD) BD 4/6/15 D 12/23/16
"Someone I loved once gave me A box full of darkness. It took me years to understand, That this too, was a gift." ~ Mary Oliver
