How would you respond if when you tell your W, I love you and she responds, I don't feel loved, (with tears, no histronics, calm statement)
What do you do or say to let your W know her efforts are appreciated, that the baby steps are worth it, that it makes a difference that she is trying, (sometimes even succeeding)?
How do you respond when she initiates, what do you do to make her want to bother to try again? That you care and it really does make you happier?
How do you give feedback and reinforce something good that you want to have happen again? How does she know if or what she does matters?
What do you do when she says I need to know that you find me attractive, that you want me, that I matter?
When she tells you she needs transistion time, that she wishes she had an atomatic on switch, but just because she doesn't, it doeesn't mean that she doesn't want a passionate fullfilling love life?
What do you do when she says she's so hurt angry and sad, because she knows darn well that if you got seperated or divorced the sex life between the two would be hot, frequent, high quality connection? And it's horrible to know that?
When she tells you exactly what she needs to be your hot passionate lover? When it's proven that what she says works?
When she lets you know that her words love tank is bone dry and she really needs the connection and needs you to fill it?
My H responds with silence. It hurts. I've told him it hurts. I don't want to start rejecting him due to my pain, but I fear I'm close, yet I know that won't help matters. I fear I'm leaning towards self destruction again, I won't, but it takes so much of my limited energy and resources to fight myself and sooth myself to not self destruct, that I don't and won't have anything left to add to the marriage.
