Great to hear from you AS. It is nice to read updates way after the sitches have ended as it'll give a perspective that there will be light at the end of the tunnel. I especially appreciate that you are still here helping newbies out with their sitches. You helped me so much two years ago so the newbies are in good hands :-)
Thank you! It's therapeutic for me to come here and help others, and to post updates on what's happening with me
And speaking of updates.... it's been quite a difficult week! My father passed away last Friday. He was 85 and not in the greatest of health, but it was still unexpected. He was found on the floor of his bathroom, apparently he was getting ready to take a shower and had a heart attack. My brother and sister and I were all pretty close with him so it's been difficult. Not BD difficult, but still tough.
And on top of that, my girlfriend of 5 years went on a drunken binge all weekend with some friends and completely blew me off. I messaged her Friday as soon as I found out, and asked her to come by. She said she would, then just quit replying. I didn't hear from her until getting a scrambled message Saturday afternoon. It wasn't even readable. Then she messaged Sunday explaining she had been doing mushrooms (REALLY???) and saying she would come by that night. She did and she was a hot mess. Looked horrible, said she had been up 24 hours, and just kept talking about how she had to leave before falling asleep. So I told her to go, it was fine. I messaged her later thanking her for coming and telling her I hoped she felt better after getting some rest. The following morning for no reason whatsoever she fired off some downright nasty messages to me about how I only want her for sex (which we have about once a month and had NOT had when she came by the night before!), how I am still hung up on my ex (I NEVER talk about her!), how I shouldn't be grieving about my dad because he was a jerk (she never met him!!) and on and on even dragging up stuff from years ago. I absolutely could not believe it, here I am trying to grieve the loss of my dad and get blasted with all of this. I flat-out told her that I was grieving and was not interested in fighting with her but she just kept right on pushing buttons until I finally told her to please leave me alone. Have not messaged again since then (that was Monday morning and it is now Thursday). I think that may be the end of that, we had a fantastic first 3 years together, then a good 1 year, then a not-so-good year. She gets angry, bitter and hateful for no reason as far as I can tell, and then will switch to kind and sweet in an instant. When she's hateful she is REALLY hateful and says horrible things. I just really can't take it anymore. I told her I thought we should break up and that just resulted in more nasty messages from her calling me a quitter and such.
So yeah, two very difficult events within the span of a few days! But thankfully, I am handling it just fine. Not stressing that much, no anxiety, still sleeping fine, still functioning fine at work and home. At the end of the day I've become very independent and self-sufficient since BD so while these losses are difficult, they don't affect my day-to-day life that much. Luckily I have some amazing friends that have been very supportive. Even my ex has been fantastic, helping with funeral arrangements and planning. It's times like this that you find out who really loves you, and those people are keepers for sure.
