I get a sense from you that you are the cliche that women say they want in a man. The problem is most women don't even know what they want in a man. It's great that you do all those things for your W but the important question is whether or not it is appreciated or reciprocated? My guess it isn't and that is why she wants to sleep with other man. She wants a man she can't have her way with. BS right? Yep but that's exactly what is happening right now. The beauty for her is she knows if it doesn't work out she has good old fluid topper DRH to fall back on.
How can you change the dynamic of your situation?
Truth darts from LH here. Drh, as a certain bald TV counselor likes to say: how is what you are doing working for you? Doesn't sound like it is. If you ask 100 women what they want in a guy, 90 of them would talk about sweetness, sensitivity, chivlary. Yet if you look at the kinds of guys that the same 100 women go after in a social setting it is the tough, bad guy that has some mystery, and even some danger, surrounding him.
Maybe you aren't tough or a bad guy or even dangerous. But can you be mysterious? "Sorry, I know your car needs maintenance, but you will have to take it to the shop. I am too busy to do that for you..........."
LH is giving you a formula here to help you change your thinking. I do a lot of things for my friends, both male and femal, without any "attraction" involved. If you are happy being her friend, then keep doing what you are doing. But Google "The friend zone" and decide if that is where you want to reside in your soon-to-be ex-wife's life.
Steve, I appreciate your thoughts. Yes, they are truth darts. Am I a tough guy? I don't come across as one. I'm a nice guy but am working on this. I can be mysterious I just need to learn how.
I am not happy being her friend and have told her we cannot be friends - ever. I'm not interested in being in the friend zone and made that very clear to her.
