Sorry you're here buddy. You've got some fantastic vets on your side though.
Re your last post, try not to second guess what you did or did not do right.
I too did the car stuff for my XW - all of it. Heck, I even painted her nails for her! She chose the vacations - I organised them. You see, it seems like you took the lead on big things and did the organising and implementation of the big things and the little things. My XW took the lead on the big things, I mainly took the lead on small day to day things, as well as most of the implementation and organising. Yet, here we still both are.
If she wants you to change the oil and continue to look after her car, next time she asks tell her "I'm busy. I think it's best you take it to Joe's Garage. Here's their number".
Or, if you're content doing it, think about something you can ask her to do in return. There needs to be reciprocity. Do it early. I endured months of giving and accommodating, til I decided give and take is mutual, and there's nothing wrong with asking without offering something immediately in return, and there's nothing wrong with politely and neutrally indicating you wont be doing something they want you to do.
Have you joined the gym yet? Better still, get a home gym, put it in a favourite corner of your home, and create your sanctuary. Get a new stylish age appropriate wardrobe, cut your hair, wear cologne and eat right. Emotional changes are hard to make short term - your appearance can change drastically in the short term though.
I'd also find RobX's threads and posts and read them all. I was inspired by what he did. He's in R2C's quotes thread if you cant search him. Someone suggested you have NGS. Read No More Mr Nice Guy by Dr Robert Glover too.
Good luck mate!
Cheers DS
I've decided to stop doing all those things I used to do - as it is I don't take her anywhere with me and the kids since she decided to separate. As for the car, she can change her own oil and top up fluids.
There was almost no reciprocity from her now that I think about it. She took me for granted with the expectation I would always do those things.
I am going to join a gym. This month I have been working on 180s. Next month time to work on me.
