Midlife wife crisis13

[Wolfman]

Well wolf you are kind of in a tough spot because you’re in love with two women. One who treats you amazing and one that disrespects you and treats you like $hit. The worst part is you prefer the latter. So yeah you’re in a tough spot because a narcissist will never change.

I wouldn’t say I prefer the latter. I miss being a family. For a long time it was my ex, I miss the family dynamic. I miss the little things, like kissing my kids good night every night. Or in the morning seeing them and telling them to have a good day at school. It’s amazing that she has become a narcissist or maybe I am just realizing it now. I’ll tell you though, I never thought in a million years she would ever do this to our family.

You should be expecting it from her at this point, why does it surprise you? Why does it still hurt you?

Does Wolf being the best Wolf depend on someone other than Wolf?

Can you do anything about this?

I guess it surprises me because she got what she wanted. Divorce. She got the home, she got her child support, I have the kids 50% of the time so she can be free and live like a teenager. Yet she is still angry? What else does she want? It doesn’t hurt as much anymore. I am working on being the best wolf. I am trying hard to learn how to make myself happy and not let my happiness come from others. It’s hard because my happiness has been my family but I am starting g to slowly to find happiness.

I just try and keep my distance and when we do encounter each other I am happy and polite. I don’t want her to think I am down. But that is my ex, when she doesn’t get her way, she acts like a little kid and throws a temper tantrum. She tells and screams and gaslights me. So keep helping me because I am missing something.

What worked in the past whenever she would have tantrum? Maybe I should ask if anything worked. Does she behave toward her parents in the same manner? If so, then you're probably seeing a pattern she developed quite young. That's not to say she can't change, but she has to see how the tantrums do not get what she wants.

What worked in the past? Eventually me giving in. She was relentless. When she got something on her mind she would not let it go. For example if she wanted to go away. She would just keep talking about it until I would just finally give in and book the vacation even if we didn’t have the money for it. Same with her parents, she would fight endlessly with her mom about a lot of stupid stuff. She was always a spoiled brat. When she didn’t get her way she would become angry or just keep hammering away at people until they gave in to her needs. It’s a shame she took our marriage for granted. My kids are the ones paying the price. My s is starting to become very angry and act out.

Monday my s had a basketball game. So my ex will have my s pack his basketball bag and put it in the garage. After school go to the house and he goes in the garage to get his bag. Well he forgot to do it. The ex should be making sure it gets done but she is only about her self. Anyway. So I text ex and tell her s forgot his basketball stuff. She said she will be home at 4 to meet her at the house so he can grab his stuff. I meet her at 4 he runs in grabs his basketball stuff and come out. Just as I am driving down the block I asked s you have your uniform? He said he forgot it. So my s calls his mom and she already left the house. She said she will not go home and bring it to the game later. Fast forward. His game was at 6:30 but we’d had to be there at 6 to practice. Ex is not there. She calls my phone at 6:10 I had the phone to s and the ex is saying she can’t find the uniform. My s starts to cry how is he going to play. He tells her to look in ano her spot and she still doesn’t see it. So she tells him it’s his problem and she is looking anymore and he can’t play and then hangs up on my s. Now he is hysterical crying and asking me to go home to get it. I said your mom might not be there and I can’t get into the house. He starts to panic and freak out because he wants to play. He is begging me to take him home. I said by the time we get there find it and get back the game will be half over. I said I will have to let your coaches know. Then my son yells out, “I hate this f#*king divorce. It’s not fair.” I wanted to cry because my ex thinks the kids are ok with this. She doesn’t realize how this affected them. She only cares about herself. The point to that long story is the ex thinks the kids are fine and that they are doing better now that we are divorced. She does not realize how much this is hurting them. I don’t want to force someone to stay with me but she could have tried to fix our marriage at least for the sake of the children. It’s not always about her. But she made it that way. My kids are hurting so bad and it kills me!!! I wish she would get her head out of her butt and see how much they are hurting. She thinks they are fine.
He finally remembered where it was and called her back and told her where it was. She brought it a little late and he was able to play. Yet she had the nerve to tell me this is not fair to her that she has to remember these things for the kids. I’m sorry I thought being a parent was making sure the kids are taking care of and making sure they have everything they need. She wanted d I can’t be there to help her anymore. Again I don’t know what she thought d would be like!!!