Wow, XW is lost in denial. She is unable to see the parallel between her and her BF’s XW. That woman was a bad person and XW saved him, that’s XW’s narrative. And very few people are the villain in their own stories.
XW does project her guilt and shame outward to you and the girls. Still so sure they stole from her, and so many other things. Denial, an inability to see; not ignoring - she really cannot accept the facts. So she believes other ones.
However, I do think XW has some modicum of growth / progress. Not so long ago a direct and forward conversation like you had would have never lasted that long, she would have hung up long before.
She is reaching towards the girls. Another sign of progress. It’s their relationship - daughter(s) and mother. You wisely know you don’t fix that relationship; you can gentle steer it a bit, maybe, carefully. And that is in the direction of the girls’ growth - acceptance and forgiveness. Nothing big on your part, if anything (you know your situation best and are well healed) just letting them know it’s ok to contact their mom. You’re ok if they contact their mom. That being said, leaving sleeping dog lay might be best for now. If XW does reach out directly, maybe then encourage the girls a bit.
Irish, that was an amazing proof of the affect of a crisis. Yes, it does sting. And it’s not about you. A crisis person is emotional and irrational. Awakening from such a state, to put one’s feet back in the rational world, I imagine is a difficult path. She is walking, convoluted and confused, poking out once a while.
Mental health awareness day certainly took on a different meaning after all I’ve seen.
You’re a good man Irish.
Have a great day.
DnJ
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
