In terms of physical intimacy, early on I’ve reached out (total 180 for me) and been both turned down and accepted. I think his “surprise” and my new found sexual attitude made very little difference to the progress of our M. But I would say it was a good experiment on my part, for me to test myself and know what I am capable of doing sexually now. Because that was one thing on my list I wanted to work on and do a 180. Lately I don’t initiate anymore, mainly because 1. I’m losing that intimate connection with him as he hovers between unpredictable and total withdrawn mode. 2. I feel like when he initiates sex it’s just for his own physical needs and I’m being used. Or he’s drunk.
I like what you said about viewpoint. That what I try to keep in mind also. The big picture versus the immediate reaction/result/feeling.
