One thing that always impresses me about you is your ability to stand firmly even when you are in the tunnels. You don't let it affect your outward decisions, and you are keenly aware of what you are giving vs getting in any set of negotiations. You are always advocating for what is fair: no more, no less. This does not cease to impress me.
The feeling of being in those tunnels is all-encompassing and I'm so sorry you are currently in them. If there was a magic word to pull you out I would. Instead, I will let Time gently guide you out.
I suppose one thing that kind of irked me about H's proposition is that he is focused on "reducing your outgoings" as a way to even things out. Without any kind of formal arrangement I don't see how your expendatures have anything to do with him whatsoever. That's your business, not his. Your responses about needing the flexibility (fair! who is he to dictate where you live for YEARS to come?) and child support being 50-50 were spot on. I'm so glad you can isolate what is important in this.
With each posting it feels more and more like your sitch is maybe coming to a head. I just want to remind you again that the "other side" will be so sweet to you. The lack of limbo is a lovely way to be. It's a journey to get there, but I don't want you to fear it. I truly hope that after pushing through you get the most wonderful sense of relief.
