Really sorry to hear about this. A bolt out the blue is just what this is.
You'll find a lot of helpful people on the forum.
Thanks Drh.
It really was a bolt from the blue for me. I thought everything was okay. Looking everywhere for advice I've repeatedly found this is how it happens for a lot of men. And as Michelle says in her writings, the crazy thing is that it's the one event that sends a signal to men that they finally recognise, and act on, but it's all too late.
Now I've read a million articles and quite a few marriage books, I actually have an idea how to be a much, much better husband. Even though I didn't see the problems in our marriage, in hindsight it was flat and unexciting. It didn't have the spark of joy it should've had. I get very excited thinking about how differently I'd do things in the future, and how good our marriage could be. That's jumping ahead though. I learned not to share any insights or hopes with my wife as she's not at that place yet and can't see it ever happening. I dare not mention such things as she almost seems to take it as a challenge to ensure the opposite happens.
It's the same for me. My WW came in after midnight recently after "going out with friends" - she has OM. Instead of reacting and asking questions I simply responded.
I don't hold out hope of reconciling - at least not till I've left the house.
I don't go on any other forum except this one as it the only one that accurately depicts the wayward spouse and how to deal with them, thanks to Sandi. The only thing this forum promises is that you will be a better man if you follow the advice.
