Trials and tribulations of dating

[Ginger1]

Previous Thread:

The odd one out

In case anyone is interested, here is a recap of my date:

Physically, I was attracted. I don’t have a type, something usually does it for me. He’s 5’8” which is a hood match for my 5’3” . Does not look his age of 51. Maybe looks 43. Thin, but fit as he plays basketball and tennis every week.

He had made a comment “I know I’m thinner than my pictures....” he told me I was actually thinner than my pictures. Which is true as I do not photograph well, and I have been losing weight. You could tell he was attracted as he told me I look very nice right when he saw me and I saw the wandering eyes. Kept checking me out.

Conversation: so good. He is a great conversationalist which is important to me. He’s got a great sense of humor. We kept it light, talking about some funny like stories, dating stories, tallied about books, musicians, work, travel, kids, but not too much kids. I honestly felt so incredibly comfortable with him. It was easy and flowed. We had a drink and a bit to eat. I had to be home by a certain time due to the mix up with thinking my daughter was spending the night at hers dads. We could have made that date last very long, but I had to go.

He walks me to my car and kisses me. Kisses me a sweet kiss, no tongue. Gives me the best hug. Oh my, it’s been a while. And we have a few more kisses during an extended goodbye.

When he got home he told me he had a really nice time. I said I did as well and we said goodnight to each other.

I forgot what this felt like. My best friend told me she had a good feeling. My coworkers said they have a good feeling about this one. A was smiling while texting him yesterday and they made me fess up and asked who it was. You guys said you had a good feeling. And so did I.

But it was one date. And it was quite honestly just as I hoped it would go. And I do hope there is another one and we will see where it goes from there

One day at a time, no expectations. But it’s been a while, so I’m just going to enjoy this right now .

[kml]

You need to see tonight’s episode of This Ia Us - there’s a scene near the end that will speak to you.

[LH19]

G,

All sounds great! A first date that actually meets expectations is even better. I woke up at 2:30 to urinate and had to look at my phone lol.

Keep us posted on when you hear from him again because you will.

[pinn]

Sounds like a good first date! Let it flow G!

[Ginger1]

Haha! It was good. I smiled the whole way home. And it really was what I see as the ideal first date. I’m guessing the text when he got home was a good sign. I’m hoping he asks for a second date. I don’t see why not.....

I was thinking about those who said I want to blown away. I think I have a definition of blown away. Someone I can have great conversation with and feel comfortable me with and am attracted to “blows me away” this time I didn’t look at him as this guy I put on a pedestal. I viewed him as someone I connect with and is smart and funny. I felt more in control and just legit enjoyed my time.

So, he’s been dating for 16 months. He’s had his fun. He told me he honestly went on a date 2 weeks after separation. I was getting the feeling his marriage had been one of those over for a while. He said the woman he went out with lectured him the whole time. He said because there was absolutely no possibility him and his ex were getting back together, he went for it. It was only a 2 hour first date, but I get the idea it was a low conflict divorce of a marriage that was probably dead for a while and they went on their merry ways. Which after M, I could only
Hope for. I am no conflict with my ex so that would be nice.

It was just so chill, and so fun. He poked some fun at our age difference, but to me it’s nothing. He’s 11.5 years older. I’ve dated older.

I’m hoping for a second date for the pure reason I just had such a good time.

[TBSakaJ9]

Sounds like a win G......he is also 11 or so years older than you so that is working in your favor as well.

Congrats on a normal, successful, first date!!

[JujuB]

That is awesome Ginger!!! So happy for you. The daughter thing actually worked out great because guys need to know you are not so readily available anyway.and yeah - I’m sure he’s getting an ego boost dating a girl 11 years younger.
Fingers crossed and can’t wait to hear about your 2nd date..

[AndrewP]

Don't sit on the divan pining and eating bon-bons. "Thinking about our awesome time and can't wait to see you again" is a non-stalker way of saying you'd like a second date.

As my daughter often says "don't ask - don't get".

[LH19]

I would just like to add that as a 51 year who looks 43 there isn’t anything that I can’t do at this age as that I did in my 30s.

I can still go beer for beer with my 20 year old nephews occasionally.

Age is just a number.

[JujuB]

Don't sit on the divan pining and eating bon-bons. "Thinking about our awesome time and can't wait to see you again" is a non-stalker way of saying you'd like a second date.

As my daughter often says "don't ask - don't get".

That only works with some guys. I think that if she responded with a nice “I had a great time too” after his text following the date - that’s enough. I personally, would let him be in the driver seat as I would want a guy that likes me enough to make effort. A lot of guys (not you Andrew) feel like they are getting more value when they have to do the work in courtship. If ginger hands it over and does the work it kind of changes that dynamic I believe she is seeking. It sounds like he is already smitten so give him the opportunity to court instead of taking on that role.