I was floored. Not that I in my heart of hearts expected a different result, but it's so different than what I see out of her when we do get together. If she's done, why did she want to talk about our joint financial accounts, given my new job situation? Why does she smile when she sees me, why do I make her laugh so easily, why does she send me links? She knows I'm on the side of reconciliation and she knows how much this hurts me - how can she know and just let me go through the hell I'm going through?
This is called being Plan B. Don't be upset with yourself for falling for these things, most of us LBSs do. We crave every crumb that she let's fall from her table. And then sit and beg and wait for more.
It is kind of humiliating to look back and to see that I did that. But we just try to hang on so tight. The key is to let go. Be the lighthouse. Let her come to you. And then to have zero expectations. Until you can get there, that is the goal you work towards.
What you find on the other side is that you know you will be okay either way. Once I got there I was actually excited at the possibility for my life that this opened up! So keep your head up and head for that faint light at the end of the tunnel.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
