Thank you for the kind words and advice. I have the DB book (got it in 2018) but have to read it again.
Steve85, I've been lurking for a long time. You posted a comment elsewhere along the lines of "Every LBH that comes here seems to have a death grip on their WAW", and how that is the surest way to a divorce. That is definitely how I've been up until recently. I'm now trying (again) not to be that way. I mentally understand the pursuit/distancing thing, where my drawing closer makes my wife move away again to maintain that safe distance, and how it can end up with her far, far away, but it's such a challenge. It's so hard to do nothing. There's an anxious feeling, "What if she sees me leaving her alone and assumes I'm not interested any more?" The emotion is what we feel so it tends to overpower the thought process.
My pastor said it's like making a souffle - if I keep looking in the oven every five minutes to see how it's going, it's just going to be totally wrecked. So the lesson from all directions is leave it alone!
