Hi Steve, I am not a vet here and I separated from W just a year ago, but I can relate to your sitch in many ways, so I would like to offer you the following advice. You should stop talking to your W’s aunt, as it does not help you detach. I was very close to my mother in law and she has suggested several times that we have a talk but I always refrained from calling her. Nothing good would come out of it. You wife can be nice to you and still want out of the marriage. It is not incompatible. It just means you are in the friendzone. It can also mean that she feels guilty about leaving you. My W behaves the same way with me, even if we are separated. I would suggest that you move on and that you behave as if you marriage is dead. Demonstrate strength and self-respect. That does not mean you have to file right away (only when you feel you are fully ready to do so), but at least go indefinite no contact. This is how you will have the best chance to save your marriage.
