Newlywed and in crisis

[Jac12]

1) Do NOT tell anyone in your circle, friends or family, that you are DB'ing. That's for you.
2) pass the present along
3) As R2C said
4) As R2C said
5) If you want the food, say thanks and eat it. If you don't, politely decline....you're ASSUMING she's doing it as a deed to counteract her food but you really don't know so don't pretend.

I'll add this: The more you try and read into everything she does or says the tougher time you will have. Nothing is going to make much sense and that's just the way it's going to be for a bit. Leave her be, stay positive, and focus on you.