quote: ------- Now a casual three-some? That could be hot. But I don't see it having a place in any sort of emotionally connected relationship, at least not for me. Essentially, it would lead me to think that I was the only one who was emotionally connected, and I would therefore immediately back up and create emotional distance. That's what I do when I care too much, it's a protective mechanism. -------
You are right, it is hot, and it has no place where there is any emotional connection. If someone is going to have sex for fun and recreation (sounds like a commercial), then emotional ties have to be excluded. It is simply too messy otherwise.
I have to admit that in the early days of 'playing', I spent weeks with ear to ear grins. It did wear off though. It was fun and dangerous and something to do when you are young and stupid.
I am sure there are people out there that can handle a swinging lifestyle and be emotionally attached to someone. I have just never met anyone.
Enjoy your fantasies, they are fun - indeed, they are probably better than the real thing.
I understand about the emotional space as well. Every time a disappointment rises up in my healing relationship, I withdraw. I am trying to remain connected whenever issues arise, but the issues are almost always sex that was planned or intimated that got derailed in some way. I can handle pretty much everything else. Last night was one of those times. I am trying to not be affected by the missed opportunity last night, but it is hard - no pun intended.
A while back, in a discussion about sex with my wife, I told her I didn't trust her with the sexual issues in our relationship. Last night is one of the reasons why I can put my heart on the line. Too much drama ensues...
It is all too weird really. Considering my backgrond, I should probably hate sex. I still love it though. What I hate is sex having to be a big deal. It should be fun and easy, enjoyed like a spring breeze or a glass of fine wine. It should NOT be like having to drink castor oil.
Oh well, at least she is drinking the oil.... ;-)
All the best, -NOPkins-
I will ferret out an affair at any opportunity.
-An affair is the embodiment of entitlement, fueled by resentment and lack of respect. -An infidel will remain unreachable so long as their sense of entitlement exceeds their ability to reason.
