Newlywed and in crisis

[Jac12]

I agree with the others. Here is an example from my sitch:

My W moved out Feb/2019. A lot was going on as her dad had weeks to live. I was there to lend support however I could, which she did appreciate, but at the same time as the weeks/months went on it was clear that her side of the family was very much in support of me and wasn't sure what was going on with her. She started to soften up a bit around October and then in November during a chat she mentioned that her relationship with her brother was strained because she felt him and everyone else was taking my side (not understanding her) and she felt extra pressure which was "not helping" our situation. Her brother and I became close during my FIL's last few months as I was there to help out however I could (and I wouldn't change that) and my MIL and I became closer too. It's all added pressure on her to do the "right thing" and it doesn't help in any way.

This past Christmas, even though we were on better terms, I opted not to attend her Christmas dinner at her mom's and I can tell that this had an effect on her. But it didn't feel appropriate if we weren't together.

It's easy to rationalize as Steve said...but your better off doing your own thing both for your sanity and mental health as well as so she can see what life without you is like.