And let me add: IT IS NEVER TOO LATE TO DB!!! Or even to implement any particular step/concept of DB.
You want to know what MY low point/nadir/ball-less point was? I'll tell you: Desperate as I was to get back in her good graces, and also completely willingly accepting of the advice of my well-meaning (but woefully misinformed and misguided) buddy... I basically sat my WW down for a relationship talk and, in order to avoid "pressuring" her and in fact take as much pressure as possible off her, told her that I would "release her from her wedding vows." YIKES! This same friend of mine had done just that and said it was "freeing" for him and "opened a new chapter in his relationship with his W" and urged me to do the same! (For those of you who followed my sitch in detail, this is my friend who was a GAL champ, but fell flat on his face in terms of demanding the respect of and properly dealing with his own WW, which WW also happened to be MY ww's bff--- and boy did it blow up in his face: His WW ended up running off with HIS best friend to live on the beach over 1000 miles away and ended up with primary custody of the kids to boot.) At any rate, this "loving, non-controlling" move of mine did NOTHING for my MR. Thankfully, it was not long after that I found this site (or more accurately "returned to" it after my first visit proved confusing and I failed to find the proper "newcomer's" forum) and started to get things turned around. I somewhat shortly thereafter began setting boundaries, one of which was that I would not live in an open MR or share my W with another man. My WW's first objection to this was "but you released me from our vows!" To which I replied: 1) "Such a thing is beyond my power to do and fully in the hands of the almighty" (she is Catholic) and 2) "I wasn't thinking clearly in the immediate aftermath of your betrayal but I am thinking MUCH more clearly, now, thank you!" And that shut that down right damned quick. And we eventually reconciled... but only after she had fully regained her respect for me which required not only the above but, eventually, me completely cutting the cord and walking away from the relationship.
So, look... if I can recover from telling my W she is released from her vows, then you can sure as heck recover from telling her you are leaving the MBR.
Get it together, man! We're all pulling for you but you've got to do the heavy lifting yourself.
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
