If I did not have enough with fighting a battle for my M now she is going to say again that I am unfair and selfish and that I should not move to the same country because we have no future and can never be happy together.
You make decisions based on your moral/religious standards. You do what you believe is right/fair. She is going to continue saying that you are unfair and selfish, b/c that has become her go-to statement about you. Even if she secretly knows that you are being fair, she will not change her mantra. Therefore, don't try to make her see you differently, b/c you can't make her do anything. If she says you are selfish and unfair and will never change, you simply reply with, "I'm sorry you feel that way".......and you let go of trying to convince her that you've changed. Otherwise, your focus is going to remain on your W's thoughts, statements, feelings, reactions, etc.
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I am living huge internal conflict. I am 100% confident I can fix my issues and with some cooperation we could have our M back but at the same time I know all is on her hands and I do not deserve a second chance after having hurt her repeatedly with my selfishness.
You have no power to change the past. You do have power to forgive yourself and to transform yourself into the man you want to become. Your changes have to be done without her and the M. I feel you want her to know everything you are working on, or have changed, b/c you believe it will help her give you another chance. However, this type of thinking actually holds you back from the growth you could accomplish. It's going to take more time for your W to see your positive changes b/c she doesn't want to see them at the moment. She would have to change her mantra!
You are not moving to another country for your WAW. You are moving there to be closer to your children.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
