Thanks BenB

[ovrrnbw]

I know from studies on kids in a D/separation that living under the same roof isn't the best idea. Did Steve n Ovr have kids in your sitch? I don't want them to take unnecessary hurt in any way...

There's a gazillion studies out there that say whatever the person funding the study wanted it to say. I don't like where your train of thought is going. Your kids are going to take unnecessary hurt in this, in school, in life. That's why you teach them, that's why you SHOW them that life in 10% what happens to you and 90% how you respond to it.

I know you're in Scandinavia. I'm considering cultural influence on you and urging you to find your own path.

I don't have any kids yet. Steve does. Your sitch is more like mine than his.

You still haven't answered my question though:

She cheats and you move out? How does that make you look and feel?

She says she can't really focus on the kids if we're both at home.

Do you believe this? Was she able to focus on the kids with both of you home before she started cheating? So is it Mumin or is it Mrs. Mumin?

Maybe one way could be to tell the kids what's going on and then one of us sleeps in the extra bedroom...

Plan for yourself, don't worry about where she sleeps. The way you phrased this is super passive. If you think it's right to tell the kids something then do it. If not, don't. I don't see the need to include your wayward wife in your parenting.


DB Basics:

1. Detach - what she says and does does not affect you. You are your own zen master. Attitude - thoughts - actions - feelings.
2. Believe nothing she says and only half of what she does.
3.GAL. Pick up old and new hobbies, change your mental state. Your whole life is out of whack right now. GAL will help change that.
4. Do what works - if you don't know what works, don't do what doesn't work.
5. Always do the right thing. Never give into fear.

I would love it if you went to the gym, made a commitment to say hello to at least 5 people, and worked out like a madman so that you could get some sleep and put some confidence back in your step.