I am in no way telling you to lie but my H had this weird pattern . He would take kids . Spend all day with them and then have family watch them and go out to party . They were safe and never really noticed so I let it go on a bit . I noticed a pattern when he was done Partying he would send me messages in the middle of the nite . Some really hurtful ones , sometimes how he missed me . This would go on as I would respond . I don’t know what got into me (probably read something on here) but one night I wrote back . I have big plans in the morning I will talk to you maybe tomorrow and shut my phone off . I had no plans . So yes I faked it but it really was a turning point that he realized I was now my own person . He fired me. He lost access to me then .
Smile as much as you can . You will find your own peace . Really learn to just be nice but short and keep moving .
You can be ok with him not knowing what he wants but what do you want ? Like really want . Every time I felt defeated I went back to this is a marathon not a sprint .
I’m curious... you are left with $120 biweekly.. what is he left with ? Do not let him short change you or your children so he can keep up his lifestyle .
His going out consists of going to Walmart or the gym, otherwise, he sits at home in the basement. I am being more quiet about what I'm doing - letting him know I'm going out and will be back later (and then just sitting at starbucks ha)
I want my marriage, I want my family. Things have been complacent on both our sides for awhile and I just never had the confidence to make the first move.
He's left with pretty much the same - he will have his truck payment, but I will have the property tax bill, more utilities than him being in an apartment, I am keeping the animals and I told him that we will need to put money into an account for all the girls misc items. Plus what we usually spent in groceries in a month will now be coming from each of us, vs jointly. Daycare will increase with split custody, insurance will go up because we will lose the multi vehicle discount.
