Thanks BenB

[Mumin]

Im back after 8 meetings at work and a logistical nightmare yesterday. Exhausted going to bed but still couldn't sleep..
Traveling for work this week, will make sure to get a lot of reading done.
A bit afraid that DR will arrive in the mailbox while W is home.

Also, her sister reached out. If we speak, I Will focus on care for W and mention I'm shifting focus to me.

The only on I might question or need to understand more is to move back in the house.
How is this good? Not exactly giving her space..

She cheats and you move out? Explain your thinking there. Tell me how you look and feel doing this.

One of my friends took his lady's name. It's a tradition that I would never break. Why did you bring that up?

To ovr's point, in my sitch my W asked for space. Neither of us left the MBR, yet I found ways to give her space (HINT: GAL like a madman!)

Until recently I guess I avoided/ choose to not see it at cheating...
In my case a big miss-step is we/i started planning everything together which in a way means I accepted it. At least at that point.
My biggest problem atm though are the kids. I know from studies on kids in a D/separation that living under the same roof isn't the best idea. Did Steve n Ovr have kids in your sitch? I don't want them to take unnecessary hurt in any way...

To ensure clarity.
I haven't moved out. Atm we alternate living with the kids in the house.
She says she can't really focus on the kids if we're both at home.
We own the house 50/50 (in legal terms).
Getting an extra apartment where we live is very hard and/or expensive.


Maybe one way could be to tell the kids what's going on and then one of us sleeps in the extra bedroom...