I can totally relate Unchien. I felt lonely all of the time at the beginning. How I dealt with it was I did the opposite of what my mind was pushing me to do which was to isolate. I had a New Year’s party and invited friends over. I said “yes” to every invitation, even if I didn’t feel like it. Eventually the feeling faded and now I don’t feel alone anymore...even when I technically am. That alone feeling, for me, was not about my XH not being around. He hadn’t been around for a few years. It was more about me. When your marriage ends, your self esteem takes a pretty big hit and that takes awhile to work through. The feeling will pass if you continue to do the work. (((HUGS)))
This resonates very much, DV.
I also say "yes" to every invitation - and also do not feel like it all the time. I do it anyway, more as a way to keep my mind occupied on other things. Plus I usually end up having fun with friends - and it has helped me to realize that I am not, in fact, a boring person nor the monster I was made out to be at BD.
The alone feeling is pretty normal. I spent a lot of time thinking that way when i was alone for 8 years after i left home following graduation. Back then, I remember wondering if i would ever find someone I could get along with, if there were any normal people out there, if I would be alone forever. I did a lot of writing and journaling back then too, and kept myself as busy as I could doing new things or things that interested me. I also said yes to everything back then.
It is sort of like getting reacquainted with yourself.
