New Chapter Pt 2 - without her

[EZdozit]

Been a while since I’ve been actively engaged on this site, and a quite a bit has occurred in the 5 months since I last made a post, but wanted to document to help me me self reflect and check my work since all that has gone down.

My new job is going well and have established a new routine and schedule that ensures I keep up with my career, fitness, and personal growth objectives. My son has seemed to calm down and settle i to his new dynamic living in 2 households. I keep myself present with him while I have him and occupy my alone time cultivating a new budding relationship and doing my own activities. Overall a pretty happy place in life.

I met a lady back in June and that has grown into a new relationship. She has never been married and has no kids and is 100% committed to me and my S8. I have been very slow at integrating her into my S8 life but he likes her very much and we have a great time together. I was able to insulate this relationship from ex as our dynamic had been very icy and communication was essentially nonexistent. This was the case until recently around the holidays in which the ex finally came into contact with new gal when she attended my S8 soccer games (Ex had originally communicated she wouldn’t be in attendance). My new gf and ex exchanged pleasantries but kept it minimal at the time. That has been the only FTF interaction the two have had since. Prior to that exchange ex and I would go out of our way to have any communication other then email concerning S8. Since that time ex has seemed to pull a complete 180 in her demeanor towards me in which a lot of temp checks and attempts to interact with me have occurred to which I see as her attempt to gain a semblance of control back into my life. Ex has gone from email only, to regular and consistent text exchanges, to now calling me over items not related to S8. I’ve welcomed the newfound civility as it ultimately has been beneficial to my s8 anxiety and not feel the unneeded tension while Ex and I communicate. I’ll suffice to say it has caused a good bit of jealousy/stress with new GF.

With the holiday break, S8 activity schedule, and having to complete a court ordered co-parenting course over next 3 months with ex, the frequency in which we have to engage with each often. We normally utilize school drop off and pick up for kid exchanges.

GF has had a few random things occur in which we both find a bit peculiar. Ex’s god mother attempted to friend GF on social media; Ex has started to hang out with a mutual acquaintance that both her and ex shared on social media. Other stuff that Ex openly shares with me during S8 activities are how she all of a sudden has taken on similar interests that GF engages in (very unique fitness and yoga classes; passion for travel, etc). I find the behavior from ex as trying to get headspace into both me and GF...and it has in large part been effective on GF. I have upped my boundaries with ex but also don’t want to disrupt this new civility that has occurred. But I also know I have to remain highly guarded with the exact intent of the sudden change in tone ex has taken on.