may and wayfarer, what you both have posted has been really helpful to me, so thank you. wayfarer, you sound like you totally know your values and yourself and are acting accordingly, and that is inspiring! It's easy for me sometimes to get caught up in different approaches and questioning what I'm doing, but this conversation clarified for me again that if I am true to myself, I can be proud of whatever it is I decide to do or not do on many levels. You both put into words what I've been struggling to put into words for myself:
Originally Posted by wayfarer
But I also can't live like every single thing he does is the end of the world and a slap in the face to me. He sure as hell isn't thinking about me when he's making those choices, I'm not entirely sure why I should think about him not thinking about me when he does them. I can't live in a place where his behavior controls me, my emotions and my actions.
Yes, and there is strength in these words. As may said, not pushover, not doormat!
Originally Posted by may22
I also think there are more important things than whether your WS respects you or not-- like do you respect yourself [...]
This is what I really needed to hear, too. A simple way to keep the focus on me—why waste time wondering what the WS thinks? Do I respect myself? Am I living according to my values and beliefs? That's all I need to know, right?
You both strike me as such strong, smart, compassionate women. Hugs, may and wayfarer!
