One year in...

[Jac12]

Update:

So I sold my W's engagement ring a few months ago. If you've followed my sitch you'll know that she moved out and left me to handle all the bills and look after our son full-time. In order to do this I had to re-jig my business and I made about 60% of my normal income this past year. She told me I could sell the ring and we had planned on meeting with L's as she seemed certain D was what she wanted (see how things can change newbies?).

Last night the topic came up as we were discussing some of our baby things that I sold. She wasn't thrilled that I sold a few things as "what if we have another baby" (her words). She asked if I sold anything else and in the interest of being open I told her I sold the ring.

She was upset for about an hour with random episodes of tears. I told her I regret selling it but at the time we were in a different place and I needed to pay down some debt that I accumulated during this tough time. A few things she said:

"I don't want someone else wearing my ring"
"It's not the same if you get me a new one...what do we do, just go together and pick one out?"
"We can't afford to buy a new one"
"It makes me sad because of the meaning behind it"

So I was just listening for the most part and it struck me that she didn't mention anything about WHY I felt like I had to sell it. It's essentially collateral damage from her decisions to cut me out of her life. Thing have been better between us but we still aren't "piecing". I think a lot of her tears were from the guilt she felt but she wouldn't say it...just a guess.

Anyways - I didn't think I made a rash decision. I was very reluctant to sell it but I got to a point where I started feeling foolish for believing things would change and we'd get back together.

For the new posters - THINGS CAN ALWAYS CHANGE so try to limit reacting based on your emotions or her emotions. GIVE TIME and SPACE, and LISTEN. TRY TO STAY EVEN.