Wayfarer, I don’t want to hijack your thread! But I find Steve’s advice interesting. In my case it won’t cost my H financially that much to D—he’ll be mostly fine, while I’ll be worrying about bills and rent. I do think it might be helpful for him to face the reality of what it would mean to live apart with me out of his life, to see that maybe D won’t automatically make him happier, isn’t the single answer to his problems. But I also don’t think it’s the answer for me, and I want him to own that decision if he makes it, I want him to do the work. I don’t want to hand it to him. I wonder how you’re thinking about this, wayfarer. I want to command respect, Steve. I hope I’m on the right path with my casual, detached attitude toward H, in not interacting unless he initiates conversation first, in the way I carry myself, do things for myself. But I do wonder if I could be doing more. I would take back the mbr, if that was an issue in my case!
