I get there is a certain amount of understanding required to move forward and let go. However, the what if’s, digging around try to figure out what would make her happy, is she thinking about me, etc... will drive you bonkers.
She doesn’t even know. She is a person in crisis. She is a mess right now.
My view, and it has changed since my first steps along this unwanted path I found myself upon, it is better for the crisis person to leave. They can grow up, unimpeded. It is probably also better for the LBS.
Now, at first I was so lost. I totally wished I had a MLCer that stayed in the home. I could show her my 180s and turn her around! Why couldn’t I be one of the lucky ones? Lol. Gosh, I was so naive.
The MLCer will do whatever it is they will do. Stay or go, really isn’t due to the LBS. The MLCer is broken and the LBS didn’t break them.
That is why nothing you do will fix them. Space and time; and lots of each. That’s what the MLCer needs.
You, focus on you. What you need. Your inner work. That’s the path for the LBS. And it is a most rewarding path; even though it does start out rather rocky and painful.
DnJ
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
