Here’s a quote I heard few days ago that resonated with me:
“You can’t wake a person who is pretending to be asleep.”
Last week H brought up D again (4 times this month so far. I am no longer shocked.) and I listened. In the end he added “IF we go down that route...”
And then he wanted physical intimacy.
This was the first time I stuck to my boundary. I said, you just talked about divorce five seconds ago, now you want X? I love you, but I cannot do X right now because it’s going to mess with my head. (Not really, but I just didn’t want to give it up) And he pleaded and pleaded for X. He even said that it will make him “nicer,” and that he will feel more “generous.” I stood my ground and turned him down nicely. And I realized that he really does know me well, and he was trying to manipulate me. As I look back to our relationship I see a lot of that. Whether H did it intentionally or not, he used my fear to his advantage. There was a lot of walking on eggshells on my part.
Time really is my friend. Really trying to use it wisely to maneuver through this fog of life.
Well played. Whether you want to admit it or not, giving in would have messed with your head.
To other struggling with a WAH wanting sex, look at Wooba's example here. Don't let them eat cake.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
