Funny thing happened LH...after she had said she wanted to have the talk, she never mentioned it again. If there was ever an example of how we say to people that "that is how she is feeling NOW, but it might change later" well this was that. Thing is when I have felt her feeling these "off" feelings, they've always come after a weekend or period of time when we've not had much physical contact. What I mean is when we just hang out, don't kiss/hug/hold hands much or cuddle on the couch is when she starts to feeling this way. And this is even when we're still having sex.
One time we were talking about this topic and I said something to the effect of "hey I was holding your hand" and she replied with "yes, but not for long". What I'm getting at is AND what I have realized I don't do well is that ladies need/want more physical touch kissing/hugging/cuddling etc than I realize AND I've never really associated those things with initimacy/connection/etc. Weird part is that I completely love and want to cuddle her, but find myself at times not doing so. Maybe she's not feeling good/tired/whatever and instead of going over and holding her it's like I'm thinking if she wanted that she would come to me.
Anyway I think I've identified the main issue for why she was feeling we were off. AND this past week while we were together I've been more proactive in kissing her, hugging her and cuddling her into me. I was talking with a girlfriend at work and she was like "when we're feeling bad we love having you wrap us in your arms, it makes us feel safe and we can relax and be feminine. also when you don't want to hold us we feel like you don't want us and/or that something is wrong" A learning experience for me for sure and I'm happy that these days when things come up in a relationship I can sense them and instead of her needing to tell me what's wrong, I at least feel I have a pretty good idea myself. I think her primary love language is physical touch at least from what I know of her so far. Giving her more hugs/kiss/cuddles I think was the answer to this "off" conversation coming up. Being on here and working with my IC has really helped me to become much more aware as a man of how to understand her feelings and what I can do to help address the negative ones if they come up.
