Do what works and if something isn't working, then don't do it again. There is no perfect way to handle spouses who are "out to lunch", so to speak. It's a trial and error and we all make mistakes. Just pick yourself up, dust yourself off and continue moving forward.
Sometimes you have to do something for a period of time (vs just once) to see if it is working.
I have at least 2 definitions of "it Working".
1) Changing your behavior. If you always argued, and then you switch to validating, and then you validate once, is that working? OR are you validating all the time and not arguing? Is that working?
The other "is it working?" is a positive change in the spouses behavior based on your change.
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
