When your wife does something that merits recognition, give it to her. Show her that you noticed the effort she has put into cleaning the house or fixing herself up. There is nothing wrong in giving praise and compliments when the spouses do something right.

Do what works and if something isn't working, then don't do it again. There is no perfect way to handle spouses who are "out to lunch", so to speak. It's a trial and error and we all make mistakes. Just pick yourself up, dust yourself off and continue moving forward

Also, there is nothing wrong w/you booking IC for yourself, but at this time MC is not recommended until she is willing to go. She may end up going to IC on her own, but time will tell.

The Coach/IC will give you some ideas as to how to broach the subject w/the children. Just calm down and breathe. Keep the focus on you and your children.

Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.