I'm not a fan of the text me mindset. I understand lots of divorced folks want a written record but you can't talk to her in person? It's ok if you can't, but why would you sit next to her then? You apparently know that she likes to make a scene so why join in on it?
A 12 year old and 9 year can watch themselves easily, and you guys should try to help each other in regards to the kids. I can see how you are both a bit agitated and prone to fighting though so maybe you can stop contributing to that, for your own sake.
Save the Facebook drama for someone else's mama.
I hope you heal and learn from this breakup so you don't repeat bad patterns.
H 34 W 29 BD 3/12/18 Divorce Busted Spring 19
It is not things that bother us, but the stories we tell ourselves about things.