My control with him is pretty mild - I believe a lot of it is due to his past affair - when he goes out, I 'casually' ask where he's going, with who, etc. Same with phone calls - I don't always ask outright, sometimes I just look. Now, when he heads out, I smile and say "Have fun!" and he will sometimes tell me where he's going.
My control is very much present in my house and my kids - my towels are folded and put away a certain way, I hate to be away from my kids (I believe a lot of that stems from my infertility), everything has a place etc (although I'm not necessarily a neat freak)
I will switch to filling in my friends on my amazing kids - we have kids all the same age, so it's not out of the ordinary haha
He disliked my lack of affection, not allowing the girls to have sleepovers at my moms (that's a whole other can of worms. They are safe with her, it's just friction with her and me), my need to discuss things (I'm opinionated and will respectfully defend my opinion), my checking in. Those are all things that I am willing to change (to a degree, I can't roll over and agree with every opinion he has, but I don't have to argue about it. We're not the UN, we don't have to agree or debate) and am trying to!
